The Divorce Ceremony
Sadly One in Four weddings end up in divorce.
Although I've performed over 1200 wedding ceremonies and been extremely popular doing these ceremonies, I have been requested by friends to write a book on Divorce Ceremonies.
Why a Divorce Ceremony?
I realize that while marriage is great for a time and we all alter and change as time goes on. A Divorce or Separation Ceremony makes so much sense, we are able to internally and spiritually move on and you are poised ready to make that change and face a new chapter in your future life.
You enter into a relationship with another person and this can be either a legal marriage or decision to form a permanent relationship with the other person and some of you go through the legal aspects and also have a wedding ceremony, to celebrate that decision, so why not a Divorce Ceremony. After 30 years I came to the relation that to have a Divorce Ceremony made so much sense.
Divorce affects the lives of so many families.
It is a major life transition that society more often than not fails to recognize, and individuals are wrongly made to feel guilt, shame or failure about that deed, or action called Divorce.
Those who have been through or are going through divorce need to know that they are brave individuals, and they should be respected for being able to come through this devastating experience with the support of their community and belief in themselves.
Personalized ceremonies that mark these milestones in people's lives are vital for the health and well-being of people as individuals and our society.
A divorce can be very painful for both parties or it can only be painful for one of the couple.
Either way, it is often a time of emotional upheaval and painful soul searching.
What happens at a Divorce Ceremony
The person conducting the Divorce Ceremony calls the person or couple requesting the ceremony to the front and to stand near him or her. The ceremony then starts and ends with the person or persons declaring that they are now divorced, single and unattached.
The ceremony is different from the wedding ceremony in that it is the reverse and is a severing from a relationship to not being in a relationship.
A divorce ceremony should recognize the hurt and pain that divorce causes and begin, together with friends and family, the process of healing and the journey forward to a life of peace and happiness.
The ceremony process does not abandon the past, but reclaims it. Within the ceremony, the following elements may be assembled: prose, poetry, music, and symbols that are chosen as important and meaningful.
Perhaps, by participating in a divorce ceremony that recognizes the event of divorce with compassion and dignity, all who have experienced divorce personally or in the lives of their loved ones will recognize the importance of paying homage to this life transition.
In a ceremony of this kind, friends and family gather for their honored friend in the spirit of acceptance and love, and to welcome a new day with renewed commitments for growth and fulfillment.
This ceremony is best done with both of people present although it can be also done on an individual basis.
I'm asked, "Can the children be present?". Yes they can and this largely depends upon the relationship that the parents have with each other.
The Divorce Ceremony can be very healing for the whole family, especially for the children.
From my experience the most common scenario for the Divorce Ceremony is for one party to request the Ceremony and then try and persuade the other to take part. Sometimes this works and sometimes not.
The Divorce Ceremony works best if both are present as the healing can commence and a more common playing field is then created resulting in more open communication.
The venue can be anywhere. Sometimes the ceremony takes place where the initial meeting of the couple took place and sometimes in the family home or a more neutral setting if preferred; this really depends upon individual circumstances.
Who will conduct or perform the ceremony? Anybody who is capable of speaking publicly or anyone who is able to follow a ceremony format. A local Minister of Religion, Chaplain, Civil Marriage Celebrant, Celebrant, Justice of the Peace are ideas or a best friend may be able to do the ceremony.
The example that I give in this website is taken from my book, "The Divorce Ceremony" and is given as an example. The other divorce ceremonies in the book, "The Divorce Ceremony" includes a Rose Ceremony, a Ceremony that includes the children from that marriage or relationship in total there are 8 divorce ceremonies along with tips, advice and suggestions, very similar to my very popular Wedding Ceremony book.